Families Adapting to a Changing World

Few families live in close proximity in America any more. In many other countries, the culture is still like America used to be - families and extended families are close enough in location to be available to help out with many different aspects of family life. In the United States, that advantage has pretty much ceased to exist.

Think of the difference it has made in our society because families, on the average, do not live close to one another. Childcare was not an issue because grandparents or aunts and uncles lived down the street or in some cases in the same house. The sting of unemployment was relieved somewhat because family members shared what they had with each other. Planning for retirement meant moving from the downstairs portion of the house to the upstairs portion of the house so that the family members with small children had the larger living area. Traveling long distances for holidays was unknown because it was not necessary.

Rural living has somewhat been replaced by dwelling in large concrete cities. The agrarian lifestyle of our past has been largely overridden by the industrial and then the technological advances of our modern society. Instead of face to face conversation with family, friends and neighbors, people communicate by email and texting - often with their eyes glued to a small screen in their hand instead of a face of flesh before them.

Since this is a present reality, I tend to be thankful for the gifts of modern technology that remind me of the personal touch of yesterday. My family is spread out all over the world. That is the way it is. I continue to long for the closeness of a loved one, catching a smile unnoticed or observing a loved one in a moment of time that cannot be captured by camera or video.

I was able to experience this somewhat, gratefully, on our latest American holiday - even though my husband and I were home alone. My immediate family all have a similar internet service - one where we can call each other using microphones on our computer and see each other utilizing webcams. Not only is the service possible; it is free to other users of the same service.

On that special day, my husband and I were able to talk for several hours to family members - one son who was out of the country and visited with our other son and his family while we were all preparing our meals. It was not exactly the same as having family come home for the holidays, but on that day, it was as close as we could get.

I am grateful that as a child of God, I don't have to wait for a phone call or a visit to be able to talk to Him. I don't have to check a world clock for the time difference between where He is and where I am. I don't have to worry about whether He is busy or He can't answer my call. I can speak to Him at any time and He will hear me. His Spirit, who abides in me, can communicate with me as well. He is always available, ready and delighted to hear from one of His children. No matter what cultural changes will come about in the future, I know that His presence is guaranteed because He never changes.

Jesus answered and said to him, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make Our abode with him (John 14:23). By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit (1 John 4:13 NASB).

The Joy of Food, Fellowship and Family

There's something about sitting together around a table full of food that invites conversation - especially with family. When our sons got married, I made a family recipe book for my new daughters.  It occurred to me that many of our best memories were around meals celebrating Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays or traditions we had created for meals on Friday nights, Saturday mornings or Sunday after church. Those memories were of great joy when we were all gathered around the table.

Now the joy is magnified because the family has grown.  On rare occasions when we have mealtimes together again, it is with grandchildren and all the delightful contributions they make to the conversations.

This last week was another reminder of this truth.  I attended two fellowship meals with our church family here in France.  There was a covered dish luncheon on Sunday after church.  So much good food and time to visit with friends around the table is a great treat.  On normal Sundays, people have to be out and about and visiting time is limited.  On covered dish Sundays, people make an effort to stick around, visit and enjoy a meal together.

On Tuesday, our ladies Bible study group got together at a member's lovely home for lunch.  Again, there was time to discover more information about my sisters in Christ.  People I had grown to love I love even more because I know them better now -  they shared their testimonies and experiences with the Lord. It was truly a joyful time.

Jesus had similar experiences.  He never was in a hurry, but it was at mealtimes we see him having the luxury of sharing life with those He loved.  He spent time in fellowship and meals with His friends Mary, Martha and Lazarus.  Those were times of rest and restoration for Him, just as times of food and fellowship with family are for us.

There was one very special meal where Jesus was able to have a time of very needed fellowship.  It was just before His betrayal and crucifixion.  In the upper room, after Judas left, Jesus had an opportunity to share some special revelations of Himself to eleven of His closest friends. He had come so they might be adopted into His family. As He left His brothers with incredible words of encouragement and promise, He told them that His intended purpose for doing so was that they might share in His joy.

Food, fellowship and family are perfect settings for experiences of joy.

These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full (John 15:11). But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves (John 17:13).

This is a repost from June 2011. As we approach Thanksgiving 2012, I am reminded again of how special fellowship time is. One day we will fellowship together with Jesus at His table. That will be the greatest occasion for thanksgiving for me.

Really Seeing the World Around You

I subscribe to a writer's magazine and follow several blogposts submitted by their staff. The motivational tips on writing, information on the latest developments in the publishing industry, what kind of writing is currently attractive to readers, etc. give me much needed facts in an ever changing world. There is practically no way to keep up on all the pertinent information without help. 

Theirs is not the only source I consult. I purchase books on writing, read what others write - both fiction and nonfiction - and notice blogs where successful published authors share their secrets and hints at sticking with their writing, no matter what. Some authors share how they conquer writer's block. Others give helpful knowledge about grammar, word usage, punctuation and formatting.

Recently I read a guest post by Kevin Kaiser on Writer's Digest entitled "What Bestselling Writers Do Differently Than Everyone Else." Of the four points that he made, it was the first one that caught my attention. Kevin said, "They are intent on seeing the world. Most of humanity hurries through the day in a fog, looking only where they need to in order to survive...But prolific and successful artists are students of the world around them. They pay attention because stories worth capturing are happening all the time right next to them. They just see it where others don't. Eyes that look are common, eyes that see are rare."

Kevin's definition of an artist is "anyone who creates something that enriches the lives of others, whether that’s leading a vibrant organization, writing a book or singing a song."

I think Kevin has captured the essence of a rich life - no matter what your occupation is. I also recently heard an extraordinary speech given to military cadets. The speaker showed pictures of men and women he had worked with - some who had given their lives for our country. Along with the pictures, he told their stories. His speech was so moving and inspiring because he actually saw the men and women who served under him. He paid attention to them. Kevin said, "eyes that see are rare." This man's eyes were definitely in that category. Anyone serving in his unit would know that he was not just a number or part of a unit, but that he had value. 

At one point, Jesus' disciples asked Him why He talked to the people in parables. In His reply to them, He said that He spoke in parables because "while seeing they do not see, and while hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand." Kevin Kaiser may not have realized his observation "most of humanity hurries through the day in a fog" had spiritual implications, but it does. He was right. "Eyes that look are common, eyes that see are rare."

But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear (Matthew 13:16).

Logistics and Progress in Poland

Logistics in Poland is very well thought out. On a recent road trip from Lwówek Śląski (a small town close to Germany on Poland's western border) to Warsaw, Poland, I passed through the center of Poland and saw a landscape filled with warehouses - distribution centers for many retail stores. 

Central Poland is home to millions of meters of warehouse space. Major cities in Poland will soon add even more warehouses as their economy continues to improve. 

According to an August 2012 issue of The Warsaw Voice, by 2020 Poland will become the main logistics center in Europe. Colliers International, a real estate services company who conducted the research, expects distribution centers to grow the fastest in Gdańsk/Gdynia, Łódź, Katowice and Wrocław. Twice as much warehouse space was constructed in the first half of 2012 as the year before with the largest amount of new space built in the vicinity of Warsaw. The midwestern city of Poznań, central Poland and Upper Silesia also gained a significant amount of warehouse space. 

I have been to most of the cities mentioned in the article I read. I love Poland and the Polish people. Some of my best friends live there. 

It wasn't too long ago that shelves were empty and goods were difficult to obtain in this country. I am thrilled to see progress come to Poland. To me, these warehouses do not mar the beautiful countryside as they are strategically placed simply to make it easier to deliver goods throughout the country. 

As a Christian, I know where everything I need is located. Every material, physical or spiritual need that I have comes from one source. 

Every good and perfect gift is from above...(James 1:17). Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'... for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:31-33).

The Painful Path to Empathy

A Christmas Carol was the first of five Christmas books written by Charles Dickens. The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargain, a lesser known work, was the last of that series.

The Haunted Man, Professor Redlaw, is haunted by his sorrowful past. The only redeeming feature of his youth was a sister who died. The memories are continually brought before him by a Phantom who offers him relief. When he allowed the Spectre to cancel his remembrances, Redlaw made a surprising discovery. Not only did his memory of sorrow and wrong leave him, so did any element of softness and caring for others. Even worse, that gift is passed on to others around him with similar consequences.

Unaffected by this desire to forget sorrow and loss is Milly Swidger who had lost her only child. A sweet simple woman, Milly tells her husband, "I am happy in the recollection of it...All through life, it seems by me, to tell me something. For poor neglected children, my little child pleads as if it were alive, and had a voice I knew, with which to speak to me. When I hear of youth in suffering or shame, I think that my child might have come to that, perhaps, and that God took it from me in His mercy...that even when my little child was born and dead but a few days, and I was weak and sorrowful, and could not help grieving a little, the thought arose, that if I tried to lead a good life, I should meet in Heaven a bright creature, who would call me, Mother!"

Observing Milly's unusual application of her sorrow and loss, Redlaw comes to himself, praying, "O Thou who through the teaching of pure love, hast graciously restored me to the memory which was the memory of Christ upon the Cross, and of all the good who perished in His cause, receive my thanks, and bless her!"

At the end of the story, Dickens suggests "that the Ghost was but the representation of his gloomy thoughts, and Milly the embodiment of his better wisdom."

I have seen Dickens' moral carried out in everyday life. Many kind hearted people attempt to sympathize with those in sorrow and pain, but it is those with similar experiences who make the largest contributions to healing. A mother who has had a stillborn child can comfort another mother like no one else can. Military families who have sent their loved ones to war can understand each other's needs - often knowing what to do without being asked. A parent who has a wayward child can sit with another parent with a unique bonding and empathy. Those who have lost their jobs in an economic downturn are able to help each other in a special way. Homeless people can band together to become a community. And on it goes. People who have been there, done that are those who understand the most.

Christians have a Lord who empathizes with our sorrows and pains. His suffering was a choice - so that  we knew that He could understand, empathize and give guidance and comfort when comfort is needed.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows (2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV).