Things and People

I have heard of families squabbling over possessions when a family member died. Perhaps family members are upset when there is a large estate or much property to deal with and their expectations of inheriting something are dashed. It always makes me sad to hear of those cases and wonder what the deceased loved one would think if they heard the dispute.

Thankfully, that has not been the case when my parents or my husband's parents passed away. The estates were small and there were not many things of monetary value but we each wanted some mementos of their lives.

When my husband's grandmother died, I got a set of her dishes - incomplete, but I was thrilled to have them -  and her button collection. When my own grandmother died, my father gave me a platter and serving bowl that matched the set I had received from my husband's grandmother.

When my dad died, my sister (actually my stepsister but we claimed each other as sisters) and I had no issues at all. She wanted the photo albums and a few items of her mother's. I wanted some things that actually belonged to her side of the family if she didn't want them. She graciously let me have the hand crocheted bedspreads that her grandmother made and the few pieces of silverware that did not go with her set. I have my father's typewriter and some other memorabilia. All these things remind me of the times I saw each of them use the items I have.

When my father-in-law died, his four sons were very thoughtful. They were hesitant to speak up about something they might treasure for fear that someone else might want it. In the end, though, I think everyone came away with the reminders of Mom and Pop they most wanted.

The important thing was that some of these belongings stayed in the family. At the estate sale, I especially hated the thought of my husband's grandmother's cedar wardrobe being sold, especially after learning that it had been given to her on her wedding day in 1920. Having no place for it in my home, I still wanted to take it if no one else would. I was thrilled when my brother-in-law said he wanted it. I think his grandmother would be pleased.

Each of the items that were brought home from our parents' house was not worth much to anyone except us. It was the reminder of time spent with a loved one or their contribution to our lives that gave the item such value.

I often look about and think of how I enjoy the good gifts of life. This includes so many things: sunrise and sunset, moon and the stars, a butterfly, the hummingbirds, a piece of furniture that is well made because God gave someone that creative gift, a painting done by a friend, the things my husband has purchased for me that have made my life easier, gifts from my children and grandchildren that make my smile when I use them (like personalized aprons!) and many more.

Every gift ultimately comes from God. The things He gives contribute to our enjoyment of life, but they are mere representatives of His presence. I am well aware that I am not taking anything with me when I meet Him at the end of my life. The pleasure they bring me today is a reminder of Him - the Creator and Gift Giver of all.

O Lord, how many are Your works! In wisdom You have made them all; the earth is full of Your possessions (Psalm 104:24 NAS). Command those who are rich in this world's goods not to be haughty or to set their hope on riches, but on God who richly provides us with all things for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17 NET).

If You Write It, They Will Know

Since the passing of my father, my husband's grandmother and his parents, I have discovered a lot of things about them through their writing: their notes, their cards written to each other, notations made on pictures and newspaper clippings as well as longer writings, such as wills and books.

My father wrote a book in his late 80's on eschatology and was working on a book pertaining to salvation. He kept many notebooks of his Bible lessons and had scores of notes in the Bibles he left behind. I teared up as I read his note on the bottom of one of my letters: "my blessing from the Lord." At my request, he prepared a notebook of his World War II experiences. Dad and I had a great relationship. It is richer still because of his writings.

My husband's grandmother wrote a manuscript which I had yet to read, but am looking forward to it. It was found among pictures and cards in her footlocker after her son (my father-in-law) passed away. She was the most dedicated Christian witness I have ever known. Her last will and testament revealed that focus in her life. She had few material possessions. She specified that everything she had was to be divided equally between her sons after five hundred dollars (a significant sum for her) was given to the World Literature Crusade - "for giving the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ to one million people each day." Then, after her signature on her handwritten will, she stated, "May they and all my relatives meet me in Heaven."

These discoveries have sealed my conviction that what you write down will reveal a lot to your loved ones. I attended a writer's conference a few years back and still have stamped in my memory a comment by one of the leaders. He was asked by a participant if he kept a diary. He said, "I have not always kept a diary, but I do now. After my wife died, I discovered a diary I didn't know she had. I discovered things about her I didn't know before and would not give anything for that diary."

God operates by that principle. What He said in His word many years ago reveals who He is. It is truly a treasure of knowledge about the One who loves us so much that He gave His Son for our salvation. I am thrilled to have His words in print as well as the writings of the loved ones He put in my life.

But these are written so that you may believe Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and by believing you may have life in His name (John 20:31). But the word of the Lord lasts forever. Now this word is the good news that was announced by you (1 Peter 1:25 HCSB).

Family Trees

Although I have had friends and relatives who have done extensive research on their family trees, I have not been as interested as I should have been - until now.

My interest started a few years ago when I realized the stories my father was telling me about World War II would be lost unless I had him write them down. Thankfully, before he died, he prepared a notebook for me of his war experiences which included his honorable discharge papers, pictures and a few memorabilia. (Picture is of my father in England during WWII).

Then my father-in-law passed away. He was our last living parent. He, too, served in WWII. I am extremely proud of both of these men and the contribution they made to my life, their Christian influence and their service to our country.

I have been helping my husband with settling Pop's affairs by going through his house, sorting through pictures, cards and newspaper clippings and putting them in four separate piles - one for each of the four sons that he had.

Unfortunately, I did not do with Pop what I did with my dad. I don't have a notebook or a written record of his war experiences. There is some hope, though, of piecing it all together.

Although it took me a very long time, I was glad that he and Mom - or his mother (photo is of his mother and his father in his WWI uniform) - never threw any picture or card away. Some of the things we discovered in his collection of pictures, etc. were surprises. We are having to dig to find out who some people in pictures are and are discovering connections we didn't know we had.

There is still much research to be done to answer some of the questions that have developed, but if we don't do it now, that information will be lost for the next generation and the next.

This experience has put a new light on some biblical passages that I used to read through hurriedly or sometimes pass over altogether. God evidently thinks family connections are important. I will never again read through the genealogies in His word the same way. What is important to Him should be important to me - and it is.

Now there were twelve sons of Jacob - the sons of Leah: Reuben, Jacob's firstborn, then Simeon and Levi and Judah and Issachar and Zebulun; the sons of Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin (Genesis 35:22b-24). Now these are the records of the generations of Esau (Genesis 36:1). The record of the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah, the son of David, the son of Abraham (Matthew 1:1).

Resolutions You Have Kept

The beginning of a new year usually sparks an evaluation of where you are and where you want to be in the future.

I have watched several interviews lately of people queried about resolutions they were making. Most of them admitted that their resolutions wouldn't last long and many appeared to think the whole idea was funny. Their good intentions for improvement would not last through the first week.

This has proven to be true. January is a great month for gyms, diets and purchasing exercise equipment. The gyms start to empty out in February, diets go by the wayside in a few weeks and barely used exercise equipment can be snapped up at bargain prices by the second quarter of the year.

Resolutions can be life changing or they can be discouraging. Research suggests that less than 10% of those of us who make New Year's resolutions keep them. Experts are now recommending that you keep your resolution list short, simple and specific.

How you approach resolutions make all the difference. Your evaluation process should not only include where you are (your present) and where you want to be (your future), but what has brought you to where you are (your past). Actually, many of us have been following through on resolutions for years without realizing it. The dictionary tells us so.

A resolution is defined as a firm decision to do or not to do something. All of us have made decisions in the past - some good, some bad.

A decision is defined as a conclusion or resolution reached after careful consideration. Those decisions you have already made were choices - defined as an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.

You live by the choices you make. Some choices have great reward - like an intimate relationship with God through Jesus Christ, a good marriage, parenting children, working at a job you love, living in a town or city that fits your personality, developing a desired skill, etc. The opposite is also true. When we make bad choices, we have to live with the consequences.

So, you and I are where we are today by the resolutions - choices - decisions - we made yesterday. When we evaluate how we have made our choices and realize that it has put us where we are today, we can either stick with the process or revise it in order to get where we need to be in the future.

Making any decision on our own - without God's help - can lead to those bad choices. Asking God to help you make the right decisions in the future is a resolution you can keep if you have a relationship with Him. There is no decision too small or too big to take to God. If it concerns you, it concerns Him. We all need His help. I know I do. Ask Him.

Trust the Lord completely, and don't depend on your own knowledge. With every step you take, think about what he wants, and he will help you go the right way (Proverbs 3:5-6 Easy-to-Read version).